I’ve finally married the man of my dreams, the same man I’ve lived with for over 2 years now. Having lived together and shared household expenses prior to now, I THOUGHT I knew what our agreement was with respect to shared expenses, but it seems I was wrong.
Here’s the back story. He just graduated from school and started his first full-time permanent job. Prior to that time, and up until now, he paid me a lump sum at the beginning of the month which we had figured equated to half of all our monthly bills and groceries. I was then responsible for paying the bills as they came due. Following his graduation and start of work we purchased a new home. Our first mortgage payment is due August 1 and just last night we received our first payment voucher in the mail. Despite never discussing this, my husband is now telling me he thinks it is only fair if we pay the mortgage based on our percentage of gross income. Meaning that since my salary is higher, I would pay more. I explained to him that I had a problem with this for 2 reasons.
One. I really don’t make more when you take into account my $400.00/mth student loan debt.
Two. We both use the house equally and so I feel we should be responsible for the payment equally.
I asked him if that meant we should pay all shared expenses on a percentage of income basis. He replied, “yes”. He says that he shouldn’t have to pay for my student loan debt and in essence that was what he’d be doing if he paid for half of all the bills. My response was that I shouldn’t be penalized for marrying someone who makes less than I do.
Needless to say, things got heated. Who is right here? Either of us? What is the standard here? Had I known that this was the fair thing to do, I would have not bought this house with him. I honestly cannot afford to take on the bulk of the bills and take care of all my personal expenses too. I have thought from the beginning that all expenses would be split. Help!
